Actually, I feel much more relaxed than the past couple of days, which might not be saying much. The other night I went to bed fully aware that I was going to have anxiety dreams about class and work and my new job, and sure enough, I woke up freaked out that my acting/directing teacher was shaking her head disapprovingly at the way I had handled my first day with the kids at the after school program. I guess it's always like this at the beginning of a semester, but I feel like the work is just piling on, accompanied by anxiety about lots of little stuff. I start my job at after school today, and I think my desire to be dazzlingly fun is actually the most nervewracking thing for me right now. That, and the fact that in one of my classes I have to direct and act in a scene from a play that I don't feel like I understand very well. I thought coming up with a directorial "analysis" and "concept" was a strength of mine...maybe not so much. Normally I can sort of see it playing out in my head while I read it and in this case it just seemed so awkward. Unfortunate! Oh well, I guess this is what "challenging myself" should feel like. Right?
On a lighter note, the things I'm doing are incredibly exciting. I feel like I've learned so much already, and I really do look at most of my work as a good way to improve. I read faster than I used to, work more efficiently, and last night, I slept quite soundly.
2 comments:
remember when you directed the bed of nails scene? that was awesome.
max
Max! Thank you for that reminder. I guess beacuse of that I can always say that I know how to take "risks" in theatre. How are you? Where are you?
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