Sunday, September 25, 2005


Funny how when I'm at my busiest I find the most time to post...

My mother ran a half-marathon today, which is a goal she's been training for for a while now. I'm so proud of her, and she came in 5th in her age group! The best part was her method of motivation during the race: she said that, in order to keep herself going, she decided to think about a member of her family for each mile she ran. She essentially meditated on each person's personality, strengths, unique characteristics, and contribution to the family for the entirety of a mile, and then moved on to another person. She had plenty to occupy her thoughts, and she looked forward to every new mile. Is that a great thing to do or what?! My mom is such an inspiration.

Saturday, September 24, 2005


So I got through another week, and in this particular week the stakes were much higher due to the fact that I started my job. The first couple of days were just okay (not disasters at all, but not what I was hoping for), and were generally characterized by craziness, confusion, and what seemed to me like wasted time. But Friday, oh Friday was one of those times, so few and far between, where I left school with a big dumb grin on my face, thinking "oh, learning!" I worked with the very very little ones, and we had fun drawing creatures in the forest and reading Where the Wild Things Are, and then I got to work with the best 3rd grade ever, a group of kids that was crazy and loud, but committed to learning new things, and actually helping each other be creative and improve. Like, whaaa...?? I was able to let go, and let their momentum dictate what we were doing next, which is a really big deal for someone like me who finds comfort in outlines. And then I got to go to class all weekend which (besides the fact that it was annoying cause it was class on the weekend) was great, because I got to reflect about the stuff I do, and do fun drama activities.

So that is the exciting stuff that's going on. Other than that, for me the "City That Never Sleeps" is becoming the "City That Never Sleeps Because It Has So Damn Much Homework." Seriously, I have no idea what fun stuff is going on in this gigantic, culture-filled metropolis, because right now my world consists of the space between my apartment and the laundromat. It's Saturday and the most exciting thing I did tonight was make a cup of green tea in a nifty electric tea kettle.

But one of the reasons I'm doing all this is because Brian is visiting again next weekend! Can you believe it? Neither can I!

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

My head is spinning!

Actually, I feel much more relaxed than the past couple of days, which might not be saying much. The other night I went to bed fully aware that I was going to have anxiety dreams about class and work and my new job, and sure enough, I woke up freaked out that my acting/directing teacher was shaking her head disapprovingly at the way I had handled my first day with the kids at the after school program. I guess it's always like this at the beginning of a semester, but I feel like the work is just piling on, accompanied by anxiety about lots of little stuff. I start my job at after school today, and I think my desire to be dazzlingly fun is actually the most nervewracking thing for me right now. That, and the fact that in one of my classes I have to direct and act in a scene from a play that I don't feel like I understand very well. I thought coming up with a directorial "analysis" and "concept" was a strength of mine...maybe not so much. Normally I can sort of see it playing out in my head while I read it and in this case it just seemed so awkward. Unfortunate! Oh well, I guess this is what "challenging myself" should feel like. Right?

On a lighter note, the things I'm doing are incredibly exciting. I feel like I've learned so much already, and I really do look at most of my work as a good way to improve. I read faster than I used to, work more efficiently, and last night, I slept quite soundly.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

You can take the boy out of the city...

What is that he's carrying?

In case you don't know, this is Brian, and he is indeed sporting a very hip messenger bag, or "manpurse" as he calls them. He pretends that he doesn't like them, but he wore it well and he knew it, despite his weak protests.

Brian came to visit this weekend, and was finally able to see our place and everything. We made all kinds of lofty plans, but did very few of them, instead spending time walking around, eating tons of cheese and other great food, lunching in Central Park, running around Astoria, going out with my sister and staying out waaay too late and getting up waay too early, and going to a mod-themed party. He comes back in two weeks (actually, ten days), so maybe then we'll actually do some of our planned activities (the Met, a play, etc.), but maybe not. It really doesn't matter cause it was all ridiculously fun anyway. I mean seriously, we had text messaging races and they were tremendously entertaining. Who is this boy? Where did I find him?

Too bad I have a crapload of work to do. Still, it's exciting work. I spent six hours in a class today and I enjoyed pretty much all of it. I think that's a good sign. After class I went straight to the Upper West Side--which is very pretty--and saw a production of The Caucasian Chalk Circle, directed by my Masks and Puppetry professor. His company, the Mettawee River Theatre Company, does amazing mask and puppetry work--incredibly artful and beautiful--and this performance, held outdoors at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine (since when does Manhattan have ginormous European churches?) was really, really cool. I felt very productive and enlightened, and then I read about directing while sipping coffee on the bus ride home.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005


I have been a tremendous slacker when it comes to this little blog thing, and I apologize to those who care. There do happen to be a few of those individuals, who chastised me more than once about my lack of blog updates in the past few days, which made me feel special. Thank you, Brian and Susie S.

So, for the sake of being up-to-date, rewind about a week. I went to Chicago again, to see my dear friend Sara get married. It was lovely and fun...and crazy to watch. It was definitely the first wedding of a friend of mine, which is a bit of a trip, you know? I got to participate by doing a reading during the ceremony, which I really enjoyed because it felt like I was able to contribute something personal. It was an exhausting weekend, because we did the whole shebang, from a group manicure-and-mimosas session to the rehearsal to the whole big day itself. It was fun and I just found out that yet another friend of mine got engaged, so there's plenty more where that came from! Crazy!

So then on Monday morning I came back. Back to a new routine and lots of reading and a job to start soon and many many things to write in my very high-school-like, very not electronic planner.

Monday, September 05, 2005


I returned to New York this morning after a refreshingly wonderful long weekend home in Chicago. Even though my flight was early in the morning, even though I had to get on a crowded bus to get home from the airport, even though I really didn't want to leave Chicago, I was in good spirits. I arrived during the most beautiful weather possible, and the city simply sparkled for the four days I was there. I spent lots of time with my extended family, all in town for our uncle's gigantic 50th birthday bash. As for the various family get-togethers, let's just say: lots of food, open bar, loud loud aunts and uncles, partying with cousins, irish dancing, and many scandalous stories about my father's bachelor youngest brother's youth and not-so-distant past. It was a blast, especially since we're never ever all in town at once. I also got to spend tons of time with Brian, see his swank new apartment, and party at their housewarming. He came along to be entertained by my family festivities too, and charmed the hell out of my relatives.

Most of my cheerful mood this morning, however is probably due to the fact that I get to go back in 1.5 days. That's right, I went home for a family celebration this weekend, and I have to go back this weekend for my FIRST friend wedding ever. I can't believe one of us is getting married.

It seems silly that I didn't just stay straight through the week though, doesn't it? Problem is, I had to do this whole "first day of grad school" thing in between, and there was really no way of avoiding it. But let me tell you, if I show up there tomorrow and get anything less than a stellar lecture, if I get any of that here's-the-syllabus-now-go-home shit that I absolutely loved in college, I will be sorely upset. Because this is grad school, people. We have done the whole "job" thing (even if we knew it was just a short prelude to more school). We are living in an area far removed from campus and paying too much in rent. We are not bringing in much money at all now, and shelling out a lot of it. We are visiting our school's financial aid web page frequently. And we could have just had one plane ticket for a straight week and a half at home, but we came back because it seemed important, because in grad school the first class of the semester is always a full session, no exceptions. Right?