After another super stimulating day, I just had an incredible dinner at a small, hidden restaurant right on the beach in San Juan, with seven people from my program who are hilarious. It doesn't matter at all in our workshops, but when it comes to going out to dinner or other social activities, I feel reserved for some reason, and it can be a little nervewracking for me, since I don't know anyone all that well. Isn't it annoying when you know you can be fun, but everyone else is already doing that and you just have to kind of sit and watch and be shy? I sort of feel like that, except tonight not so much. And I found out that they pretty much didn't know each other before either. It's such a junior high feeling, isn't it? Brian and I talked about this before I left--that feeling never really goes away, even as people mature. But anyway, I can honestly say that I pretty much enjoy everyone on this trip. Another thing is how accomplished they all are; when you get to grad school, most people are either a little older or a little younger (in my case, most are a few years older), and in my program everyone seems to have started their own theatre companies and non-profits and all that. Don't even get me started on the Puerto Rican professors and assistants that are running our program!
So since this was a boring post about my social anxieties, I'll post a little something fun. Below is a picture of the director of our graduate program, engaging in some very important program administration. This was taken directly after a workshop in which we transformed our gathering space with paper art. Which sort of, in a way, explains why he's wearing a collar made out of a giant doily.
3 comments:
Explains, but does not excuse.
I am SO glad you are having a good time!
And as far as being a few years younger, I highly doubt that any of your fellow students ever executed a convincing portrayal of a dancing bear.
oh my god. i am going through exactly what you are! i am glad to know that even the people i think of as the most confident and outgoing can feel reserved and socially anxious now and again.
-svrs.
I've found that, after social situations like that, where I'm with lots of really outgoing, uninhibited people, and I end up doing way more listening and worrying than active talking, the others tend to walk away with this impression of me as confident and mysterious, not dull and awkward, which is how I feel. It's amazing the amount of allure you can gain by not saying a damn thing.
I'm visiting New York soon. I swear. I asked for a plane ticket for my bday. I am slow but steady. I will find my way to your air mattress.
Also, this program sounds awesome. I will see you soon.
MB
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